SHWEW, THAT WAS CLOSE: Cagie Kagan Is Straight!

MISTER BATES was flooded with relief to read, according to SC nominee Elana Kagan's college roomie, "She's straight!" No matter that a buddy of Mister Bates immediately claimed that "if she's not a lesbian, Liberace was a top!"

And the relief just spreads among Kagan's straight 'liberal' supporters. Even the queers are relieved, if advocate.com is any indication

"She just never met the right guy."

Well, neither has Mister Bates but that hasn't stopped him from tasting what's on offer.

Onward and upward. Now all we have to worry about is whether we can trust a 'straight' woman who doesn't believe there is a constitutional right to marriage equality. How relieved does that make YOU feel?